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• (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

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• (408): View more from California

  Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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• (213): View more from California

  Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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• (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Finding that toy duck there was weird right?

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?

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• (213): View more from California

  i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??

  (1-213): View more from California

  You just listed two reasons.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments

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