I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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