mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
