I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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