so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
