we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
