Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
