Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
