Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
