Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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