Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
