so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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