yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
