how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Holy shit dude........stairs
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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