i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
