why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
