C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
