I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
