I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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