I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
