...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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