ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
