We're facebook friends in real life
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
God, I missed his penis.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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