And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
