im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
