I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The air taste purple.
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