Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You were trust falling into bushes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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