Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
