this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize