Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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