Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
