If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would fuck him just for his dog
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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