You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
