i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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