I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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