worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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