just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
