i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
