one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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