I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
