Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
