I just made out with a guy for $7.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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