you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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