You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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