There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
