the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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