Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
