We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
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just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love