you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.