We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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