you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
