you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize