If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How external is "for external use only"?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
