The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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