Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
