There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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