i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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