I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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