Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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