Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
