What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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