i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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