We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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